Very often in life, we find ourselves bereft of the family our souls need and want.
You may find yourself in years of therapy trying to cope with the difficult relationships you have had with your father, mother, brothers, sisters, aunts or uncles.
On the other hand, perhaps you were an orphan, perhaps you were adopted into a family or your childhood fell way outside the norms of what most people consider a healthy, happy family.
I will never forget giving a lecture years ago at a school district where they explained that nearly 10 percent of their students came from parent-less households. The children had to dress themselves, feed themselves, do their own homework and even find their way to school on their own. They didn’t have a mother or father and had to parent themselves.
How do you cope?
How can you find a way to fill the hole in your heart?
My suggestion: Create a spiritual family.
First, an understanding.
There is no such thing as a vacuum in the universe.
If you look around, you will discover that people have been placed into your life who are capable of loving you exactly as you are, understanding who you really are, accepting you as you actually are and able to give you the companionship, caring and unconditional love your soul craves.
Without going into all the gory details, I will use myself as an example.
When I look back at my childhood, feeling depressed was the logical response to the ongoing physical, verbal and emotional abuse I received from my father.
In a very real sense, my father was a true friend to me at the soul level. I am who I am because of my father.
I suffered so much abuse and neglect that I had to learn everything I could about healing.
When I went to Brown University in 1977, I met Professor Kermit Champa my very first semester.
He became the father I always wanted but never had.
He saw in me the talents I did not even realize were there.
For 27 years until he died in 2004, Professor Champa talked to me every week.
He guided me, advised me, scolded me, nurtured me, encouraged me, uplifted me.
In a word, he fathered me.
He was more of a father to me in the best senses of the word than my biological father.
There were weeks where I hung on until the day I knew I could phone him.
Just hearing his voice would turn on a light inside my heart like no one else ever has before or since.
He was so brilliant, so insightful, so loving that I always joked if he told me to go jump off a bridge I would pause for a moment and then go immediately follow his advice.
He was that correct, that on point, that capable of cutting through the fog of my own mind to finding the way that would be best for me.
Of course as a young person I always treasured our talks together but it wasn’t until I was older that I realized what an incredible gift he had given me.
After all, I graduated from Brown University in 1981.
Brown never paid him one dime for the 23 years of our weekly talks.
He had three children of his own and literally thousands of students who also valued his very presence.
When he died in 2004 I felt a loss and grieved as deeply as if I actually lost my very own father.
So back to you.
You may have a parent who suffers from a mental illness.
If you have a parent who is a narcissist, expert Randi Fine suggests in your own mind you may need to divorce your actual parent. You can hear what she has to say on the subject by watching the interview I did with her in the video below.
You may have suffered abuse of all kinds and are experiencing wounds that go all the way to your soul.
Whatever your childhood looked like, you have the power to create a spiritual family that can sustain you the rest of your life.
Here’s how you do that.
Figure out who you need. Maybe your father was a wonderful person but your biological mother deeply wounded you. Or you had wonderful parents but you remain at war with your brother or sister. Or you may be missing everyone – mother, father, brothers and sisters. For example, although I have a brother and three stepbrothers, I never had a sister. But I have a very good friend who I consider my sister. Not only do I feel she is my sister I treat her like one and would do absolutely anything I could to help her.
Pray and ask for divine guidance to be led to the people who can fill these roles in your life. You are surrounded by angels 24/7. You are deeply loved. When you pray from your heart you can be divinely led to the people who can be in your life in this very special way. Realize that although it will be a gift to you to have a spiritual father, mother, brother, sister, aunt or uncle, that they also need you. They may need to father you or mother you or be your brother or sister as much as you need them. Many people do not have their own children or never had a brother or a sister. This is truly win-win for both of your souls.
Pay attention. Notice who shows up in your life. Every prayer is always answered. It may take time for you to receive the answer you are looking for, but when you pray from your heart your angels are always listening. When you find the people who can be your spiritual family, treat them with as much kindness, goodness, compassion, patience, tolerance and self control as you would any precious spiritual being.
As you create spiritual family, you open your heart to all the love that already exists all around you. You nurture your soul and also have the blessed opportunity to nurture others in ways you may have not thought possible.
In so doing, you can overcome deep levels of loneliness, abandonment, hurt and abuse, knowing that everything works out perfectly for your highest good.
What is healing? Healing happens when you create spiritual family.
To set up an appointment for a medical intuitive reading or healing work, please email catherine@catherinecarrigan or call 678-612-8816. If you are calling internationally, please call me at the same number through WhatsApp so I can return your call toll free!