If you asked me the top 5 things you can do NOW to be a happier person, I would say:

  1. Create a spiritual family.
  2. Find a spiritual community.
  3. Pay attention to what puts you into a flow state.
  4. Become a giver.
  5. Listen to your soul as it already knows exactly what you need to be happy.

O.K., so you have got my headlines. Now for the details!


1. Create a spiritual family. Sometimes we end up not only loving but actually liking our mother/father/brother and/or sisters. And sometimes we don’t. When we don’t like our immediate blood relationships, we can end up feeling like we got the short end of the stick, as opposed to those other imaginary folks who all had the perfect childhood with relatives with whom they never had ANY issues with. Yea right! The truth is that our biological family is just there to give us a body. If we have anything to do with them once we leave home, that’s a bonus. Once we leave home, we have the opportunity to create our own family. Even if you are single, you can find friends who are the mother you always wanted but never had, the father you always needed but never had, the brother you always hoped for but never had and/or the sister you always craved but never had. When you find these dear souls, chances are they will need you too. You can form close connections to satisfy your need to be unconditionally loved and understood. If you are blessed enough to find a spouse and have your own children, even more power to you.

2. Find a spiritual community. A spiritual community could be a church, a synagogue, a mosque, a meditation center. And it could also be none of the above. In my view, a spiritual community is anyplace where you find people of like minds. I find my spiritual community sometimes when I visit a knitting shop and bring out my yarn and needles. I find spiritual community at yoga retreats with other fellow yoga teachers. I find spiritual community at A Course in Miracles groups. I have found a wonderful sense of community when I visited Scotland in 2009 with five other healers from around the world. The point is, whether you a biker chick or a knitter chick, you need to be around other people just like you, who think the way you do so that you don’t feel completely alone in the world or completely nuts. These people can support you in being totally yourself and loving you just the way you are because you are just as crazy about motorcycles/knitting/yoga or whatever as they are.

3. Pay attention to what puts you into a flow state. What is a flow state? A flow state is the state you get into when you are having so much fun you totally lose track of time. I get into a flow state when I am knitting, beading and writing. I get into a flow state when I am playing with my dog Belle, when I am with my boyfriend Ken and when I am teaching yoga. What puts you into a flow state could be watching NFL football, playing golf, cooking, riding horses. This is an activity you could do for hours at a time and it felt like you just spent 5 minutes. These are the activities that put your brain into a natural state of ecstasy.

4.Become a giver. The truth is that whatever you give out into the universe comes back to you multiplied. This is a spiritual law. The most selfish thing you can ever do is to be kind, generous and thoughtful of everyone. When you are that way towards other people, that is how the world will treat you. There is never a vacuum so you can’t give too much away. The more love you give, the more love you receive. Now I am not saying to give away all your possessions and go live in a commune. But when you notice that someone around you needs something that you can easily share, that would be the time to listen to your inner wisdom. Sometimes what you need to give is just a listening ear. Sometimes it’s a kind word. Sometimes it’s just your presence, being totally present with someone when they need to feel not so alone in the world.

5. Listen to your soul as it already knows exactly what you need to be happy. O.K., so some people call this being intuitive. I call this being in tune with your soul. You will know when you are in tune with your soul because your life will be flowing along easily. You will also know when you are not in tune with your soul because everything will seem like you are careening from one disaster to the next. I always say that God only has to hit you over the head when you are not paying attention. When you are listening deeply to the voice of your soul, all you need is a gentle tap on the shoulder and you will intuitively know where to go and what to do next. Not that everything will always be easy, not that you will never be afraid or challenged. Just that you will know the step to take and you will know that it is the right thing for you to do.

Give yourself permission to be the happiest person you know.

When you are the happiest person you know, you give other people to be very happy and that spreads the happiness vibe from person to person all over the world.