Deborah McTiernan, author of Lilly Noble & Actual Magic, a series of paranormal books for teenagers, wrote this blog post. You can find out more about Deborah and her wonderful new book on her blog.

Friends: Who Is Real? Who Isn’t?

Do your friends like you for you?  Or, do they try to change you to suit their needs?


Do they stick up for you when the going gets tough?  Or, do they keep silent, or worse, side with someone else?


Do they say encouraging things to boost you up when you’re feeling down?  Or, do they put you down and try to keep you down?


Are they fun to be around?  Do they make you feel comfortable?


Do they say things to embarrass you and humiliate you?  Do your friends make you laugh, or do they laugh at you?


Do they keep your secrets?  Or, are they into gossip?  Do they include you, or do they make sure you know they are leaving you out?


Will they talk to you when something is wrong?  Or, do they talk about you behind your back?  Do they spread rumors?  Do they say negative things about people they don’t even know?


How do you know if your friendships are real?  Pay attention to how your friends make you feel.


If someone is judgmental, mean, untrustworthy, deliberately doing and saying things to make you feel bad, that person is not your friend.  No matter how lonely you think you are, you’ve got to let this person go.  It’s the only way to make enough room in your life for a true friend to come in.


A real friend will accept you the way you are, encourage you to feel good about yourself, and keep your secrets.


And remember, in order to have and keep good friends you’ve got to be one to others.